Thursday, November 5, 2009

Book 1 - Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story - Christopher Moore

This is my first review of everything ever, so if you don't have something nice to say, SHUT THE FUCK UP!


This is my third Christoper Moore novel, and so far, I've enjoyed all that I have read. I read "A Dirty Job" last summer and absolutely adored it. A few weeks ago, I picked up "You Suck" at the library, and got several chapters into it before I realized that it was the sequel to "Bloodsucking Fiends". I hate it when I do that! Oh well.

"Bloodsucking Fiends" is the story of Jody, an attractive 26-year-old woman living in San Francisco that is attacked one night and slowly realizes that she has been turned into a vampire. Then she does what any of the rest of us would do in her position: find a minion to do her bidding. Enter Tommy. Tommy is an aspiring writer/19-year-old stockboy from Incontinence, Indiana. He's been in San Fran for about 10 minutes when he meets Jody who almost immediately asks him to move in. Wanting to get laid, he immediatly agrees. What results is a story that is part murder-mystery, part adventure, part romance, and all hilarious.

In Moore's novels, the main characters are somewhat interesting, but the best characters are usually the supporting players. My favorite is the self-proclaimed Emperor of San Francisco. He is a homeless man who defends his city with the help of his Golden Retriever, Lazarus, and his Boston Terrier, Bummer. He may or may not be completely out of his mind. When he takes the dogs on a vampire hunt, he dresses them in armor and brandishes a wooden sword.

It's hard not to fall in love with a book that includes turkey bowling, floor-polisher water skiing, and bronzed turtles. If you like books that lean toward the absurd, then "Bloodsucking Fiends" is for you, and if you enjoyed this book, read the sequel, "You Suck". I actually liked the sequel more, just because Abby Normal cracked me up.

*I actually finished this book a week ago, but my laptop crashed, and I've been sharing a laptop with my fiance. Today I drove to the library to write my review, so appreciate my committment, dammit!


  1. awesome review. i would read this now.

    i mean, a cursory glance reveals no horrible misspellings or punctuation flubs, and if it did, who(m) would care? we're all buds. and the fact that you enjoyed it and were able to convey that, hell, i'd check it out.

  2. Nice review,makes me want to read the book, for I do like a little bit of the absurd from time to of the 'absurd' describes my situation to a tee.
    Anywaaaaays...well done and I appreciate the commitment.

  3. That review was perfectly fine. However I have a reputation to protect so......I don't like the colour of your blog! There!

  4. oh i was thinking the same thing, admin. it's so pink and girly and pukey!

  5. Well, first of all, I AM a girl, and second, I couldn't find any other themes that I liked. Purple would be more to my liking, so if you have any suggestions on how to make it purple, I'm all ears!

  6. Hey, mine's purple! Or, my blogger one is. (I have, like, 30 blogs. It's hard to keep track.) As soon as I figure out how I did that, I'll let you know!

    Anyway. The only Christopher Moore I have actually fully read was The Stupidest Angel, which cracked my ass up. I started Biff, but I got sidetracked halfway through, and as is often the case with my faulty old-lady memory, by the time I went back I'd forgotten what was going on. So, I think I'm gonna start it again for this. Anyway, Bloodsucking Fiends sounds awesome, thanks to your review, and I think I'm also going to read that. and the sequel.

    Also, I like your pink blog anyway.

  7. Wonderful review. And I think the color is fine. Want to start reading the first ones now

  8. You Suck was on my CR schedule for two weeks from now. Had no idea it was a sequel. Thanks for saving me from that.

  9. I had to agree to "adult" content before I was permitted to read this blog entry. Yet, I was not offended nor bombarded with "adult" content.
    oh well.
    So much for getting all "excited" about the possibility of porn.

  10. Yeah, I had to agree to "adult content," as well; made me a little nervous that you might have changed your theme to tap-dancing naked men... which wouldn't quite be work-safe. Luckily (or not?) for me, it seems the warning was just there because you used the word "fuck"...? Is blogger PG-13 now or something?

    Anyway, nice review, and that homeless guy sounds like an AMAZING character. But "Incontinence, Indiana"? Does the book pull a lot of cheap shots like that?

  11. Well, I thought I would be swearing a lot more than I did. I guess I clean up my language when I actually stop to think about it.

    Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck

    Much better :)

  12. Ah okay, I thought Blogger had imposed some kind of adult filter on you, which would have been pretty lame. :)

  13. lol! love the review. turkey bowling was great. john loves abby normal too. can't decide which i liked better...they were both awesome! next you need to read 13 Bullets by David Wellington. It's about a female rookie cop who gets chosen to work with a famous vampire hunter guy who is very "Clint Eastwood"-ish. It's great!! It also has 2 sequels, which makes for lots of fun!