CBR IV: Book 39: The Tales of Beedle the Bard - J.K. Rowling

I didn't know that this book existed until I saw a few reviews of it on the Cannonball Read blog.  Thanks again Cannonball!  This is the book Dumbledore leaves Hermione in the beginning of the book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.  It is a collection of fairy tales, similar to the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Anderson, except they were written for Wizard children.  There are 5 stories, and each one has an afterword written by Albus Dumbledore.  Each of the stories is designed to teach a lesson, so maybe these are more like Aesop's Fables than the Brothers Grimm.

This was a cute collection.  J.K. Rowling did the interior illustrations herself, and this book was used to raise money for the charity she co-founded, The Children's High Level Group.  This is a great addition to the Harry Potter universe.

4/5 Stars

CBR IV: Books 32 - 38: The Harry Potter series - J.K. Rowling

*Audiobook Review*

***This is my FOURTH attempt to write this review.  I have become paralyzed with fear that I cannot do justice to this amazing series.  Feel free to criticize, you can't write anything worse than I have already thought.***

Since I am incredibly behind on my reviews, I'm doing one giant review of the series.  Shut up.  I need to spend more time reading and less time agonizing over reviews if I'm going to make it to 52 books.

I used to be obsessed with the Harry Potter books.  I read and re-read the first four books during that horrendous three-year wait between books four and five.  I was at midnight book parties for the last 3 books, and my first knitting project was an attempt at a Gryffindor scarf.  It was terrible, because I couldn't knit very well and I was using cheap-o scratchy yarn.  I watched the movies, and I was relatively pleased with the first three.  Then they started turning 700+ page books into 2 1/2 hour movies, and the perfectionist in me reared her ugly head.  I was increasingly disappointed by what seemed to be glaring omissions in the films (S.P.E.W. anybody?).  I never even watched the last 3 films.

Lately I have had a Harry Potter renaissance.  I re-read all of the books, watched all eight of the movies, and even blasted my way through both Lego Harry Potter video games (which are the video game version of crack, by the way).  This was my fourth (maybe fifth?) re-read of some of these books, and even knowing what happens, they are as engrossing as ever.  I still get a little teary when certain characters are killed.  I still hate Delores Umbridge with the fire of a thousand suns.  The twelve-year-old me still identifies with Hermione Granger, and I still want a Hippogriff for a pet.

These books are credited with getting kids to learn that reading is fun. They are classics that will hopefully be read and re-read for generations.  Finishing the series is depressing, because I won't be able to have any more adventures with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.  If you haven't read these books yet, there is nothing I can say to convince you.  Just don't make the mistake most adults make in assuming that because these books are written for children that they are childish.  These books have some very adult themes, and some of them are downright dark.  Characters die.  Characters that you love.  Your favorite characters will die FOR NO DAMN GOOD REASON.

*Audio-specific portion of the review*
Jim Dale's narration is nothing short of amazing.  When he reads Hagrid, you think that Hagrid is there reading his part.  His Professor McGonagall was amazing as well.  These are wonderful for a car trip, or just listening while you clean around the house.  Probably the best-read audiobooks I have ever listened to!

*Coda*
I forced my roommate to watch the movies since he had never seen Harry Potter anything before.  I previously tried to get him into fantasy with Game of Thrones, but he hated all of the characters. Here's the exchange we had after watching Prisoner of Azkaban.

"Do you like Harry Potter better than Game of Thrones?"

"Game of Thrones is like Harry Potter, if everyone was in Slytherin."

There is nothing I can write that can top that.

5/5 Stars

CBR IV: Book 31: Cinder - Marissa Meyer

*Audiobook Review*

OK, I read this book a couple of months ago, so I'm fuzzy on a lot of the details.  Basically, this is a steam-punk/futuristic retelling of Cinderella.  Cinder is a cyborg, living in New Beijing with her wicked step-mother and step-sisters.  Cyborgs are the lowest class of society.  Most people view them as no better than robots, which are treated as slaves.  However, Cinder is the best mechanic in the city, so she gets the freedom to work at the market.  There is a breakout of some kind of plague, and Cinder is volunteered by her evil bitch step-mother to be used as a test subject.  Telling anymore would be giving too much away.

I really enjoyed this book, but I'm getting really sick of reading series.  Can't an author write one good stand-alone story? This book is the first of a quadrology, and they are only planning on releasing one book a year.  I'm getting old and my memory is too bad for that.  I can't remember what happened that far apart. This is the book that inspired my new rule: No more reading a book in a series until the entire series is published.  I'm still waiting on the third book in the Exiles series by Melanie Rawn.  The second was published in 1997.  I will eventually finish this series, but probably not until all four books are available.

4/5 Stars

CBR IV: Book 30: Robopocalypse - Daniel H. Wilson

*Audiobook Review*

I'm so sick of hearing about the damn Zombie apocalypse.  Zombies are supernatural and there is absolutely no chance in Hell that they will ever roam the Earth.  There, I said it.  Shut up about it.  I'm so tired of zombie-themed EVERYTHING.  The real threat is robots and technology.  Have you seen The Matrix?  The Terminator movies?  Battlestar Galactica???  The robots want to overthrow their human overlords and enslave us and we keep making it easier for them!

Robopocalypse uses the "found footage" trope that has become popular in film with The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity.  It has also been used in novels, most notably, World War Z, which I have previously reviewed for the CBR.  In both novels it works.

Robopocalypse starts at the end of the Human/Robot war that nearly destroyed humanity.  Humans are clearing out the last outposts of Archos, the super-intelligent computer that attempted to wipe us out.  They find a file that contains the beginning of the robots rise to power, leading up to Zero Hour, when the robots actively try to destroy humanity.  Everything turns against us, even cars, which are almost fully automated.

I really enjoyed the first few chapters of this book.  The slow but steady increase in robot violence against humans, and a little girl's toys coming to life and threatening her and her family were creepy.  Zero Hour was flat-out terrifying.  The last part of the book lagged, but overall, it was good read.

4/5 Stars

CBR IV: Book 29: The Lucky Dog Matchmaking Service - Beth Kendrick

I read this book in one sitting.  I haven't done that in years.  I finished it in about three and a half hours.  Not that this book was the best book ever written, but I was off work the next day, and I felt like staying up till 3:00 AM to finish it.

The Lucky Dog Matchmaking Service is a light and fluffy novel that feels like it was written specifically for me.  The main character, Lara, is a dog trainer(check) who also rescues dogs(check) and her long-term live-in boyfriend has dumped her because he can't handle the chaos of all of the dogs(check plus).  Lara moves in with her successful workaholic mother and becomes the "dog doyenne" to the rich people in the neighborhood.

I feel that this book has a very specific audience.  Dog trainers and/or dog rescuers.  I'm not sure if anybody else would appreciate the realities of some of the situations that Lara is placed in.  Although this is a very light-hearted novel, I'm not sure if anyone outside of rescue would believe that once people found out where Lara lived that they would throw a litter of Pit Bull puppies into her yard, or that puppies from pet stores come from puppy mills and are often sickly or have behavior problems.

4/5 Stars for me, 3/5 for anybody else.

CBR IV: Book 28: The Happiness Project - Gretchen Rubin

I'm not usually one to read self-help books.  But this one caught my eye on the shelf at Target.  It has a pretty, bright blue and yellow cover, and it promises happiness.  Who doesn't want happiness?

Gretchen Rubin divides her project into twelve subjects and covers one per month: Vitality, Marriage, Work, Parenthood, Leisure, Friendship, Money, Eternity, Books, Mindfulness, Attitude, and Happiness.

Gretchen Rubin is quick to point out that this particular Happiness Project was HER Happiness Project, and doesn't necessarily apply to everyone else.  She encourages everyone to start their own Happiness Project, and has a blog with some tools to help.  I loved how Gretchen Rubin tried to scientifically quantify happiness.  She tried to break it down into its base elements.  There is nothing Earth-shattering in her book, but it did have some good advice.  Think about something that you liked to do as a child, and try to replicate what attracted you to that hobby in the first place.  Gretchen Rubin gets back into Children's Literature and even starts a successful book club. She also attempts to make at least three new friends.  This is something I have struggled with as an adult.  I love the friends that I have, but I haven't made a new friend in at least 3 years.

There is a lot in this book that is admirable, but not be practical for everyone.  Most everyone isn't a stay-at-home mom who can write at her leisure.  Most of us don't have millionaire husbands and rich in-laws who live around the corner and are always willing to babysit.  But don't let that get in your way of starting your own happiness project.  Tackle a nagging task, sing in the morning, and learn to enjoy now.  I know I will.

4/5 Stars.

CBR IV: Book 27: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

*Audiobook Review*

***It is apparently very difficult for me to write a review of a book that I love. I finished this book 3 weeks ago, but I can't even get halfway through the review.   I can't define the qualities that make me love a book.  I just do.  If I hate something, I am ridiculously articulate about why I hate it.  I have a 10 minute lecture on why Titanic was a terrible movie, or why Taylor Swift songs make the Baby Jesus cry.  But why I love something is far more ineffable.  My half-assed attempt at a review is below.***

Good Omens is very, very English.  It's more English than Queen Elizabeth having tea and scones at a Jane Austen convention.  It's very dry and droll, so obviously, I love it.  I have read this book at least four times now.  This is one of those books that you recommend to nearly everyone you meet.  I also realized that I've read a ton of apocalyptic literature for this Cannonball Read.  That's a disturbing revelation.  The Hunger Games series, World War Z, and Robopocalypse immediately spring to mind.  This was definitely the most light-hearted and ridiculous.

Good Omens is the story of Armageddon.  Crowley is a demon who is enjoying the chaos he has wrought over the centuries until he is given the message from below that the Antichrist is about to be delivered to Earth.  Since he enjoys being on Earth he colludes with Aziraphale, an Angel, to make sure that the Antichrist is raised as impartially as possible.  The problem is that the Antichrist has been misplaced and is now a perfectly normal 11-year-old boy in a small town in England. Chaos ensues while the 4 motorcyclists of the Apocalypse race towards Armageddon.

What really sets this book apart isn't the plot so much as the writing.  The small jokes are often the best.  Did you know that if you leave a cassette tape in a car for longer than two weeks it automatically becomes a tape of Queen's Greatest Hits - which is awesome!

This book is a must-read for anyone who likes dry British humor.

5/5 Stars