CBR IV: Book 1: The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern

"The circus arrives without warning."

The Night Circus is the story of Celia and Marco. Two magicians who are forced by their mentors/masters to compete against each other in order to prove...something. Neither of them knows the rules of the contest, or even how to know if they are winning. Of course, they fall in love, but the story is about much more than that.

Celia and Marco are interesting enough, but the real star of the book is the circus itself. All of the decorations are entirely in black and white, and there are innumerable attractions. Celia is the resident illusionist, but there is also a fortune teller, acrobats, contortionists, and gymnastic kittens. After a couple of years, some people start following the circus from town to town, creating a "Dead Head" type culture that obsesses over every minute detail of every aspect of the circus. They become known as reveurs, and are easily identified by their black and white outfits with red scarves. I particularly enjoyed the "Midnight Dinners" hosted by Chandresh Christophe Lefevre where he and some of the other guests created the concept of the circus.

This book was delightful. The descriptions were vivid, especially the ones about the food. I have been craving candied apples and caramel popcorn ever since! Everything in this novel made the circus feel alive. It made me want to run away and become a reveur and join the circus.

I give it 5/5 stars, and would highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys Victorian novels, fantasy, romance, or adventure.

CBRIII: The Search for Spock - Book 1 - Walking In Circles Before Lying Down - Merrill Markoe

Woo Hoo, first book of the year. One down, bunches more to go...

Dawn Tarnauer is a 30-something, twice divorced employee at a doggie day-care. She has been in a string of bad relationships, the most recent with Paxton, a narcissistic DJ who hates dogs. Her mother is also a narcissist who flits around from one fad to another, her dad is a serial womanizer who perpetually needs a handout, and her sister is a wannabe life coach who used to date Scott Peterson. In short, her life is a mess. The only stability in her life has been dogs, so she talks to them. However, the big surprise is when they start talking back. After her boyfriend suddenly walks out, Dawn suddenly starts hearing the voice of her pitt-bull mix, Chuck, in her head. When Dawn goes to work at the day care, she notices that she can hear the voices of all of the dogs. Since she has had terrible taste in men, she decides to let Chuck start picking potential dates for her. Unfortunately, Chuck's criteria seldom aligns with Dawn's. Chuck picks out a butcher for her because, "he seemed humpy".

Overall, I liked this book. It wasn't really a page-turner, but it was an enjoyable, light read. Of course, as a dog trainer, I'm contractually obligated to like anything with dogs in it. I also just got out of a bad relationship, and am constantly surrounded by dogs, so I may have related to this a little too much. One thing that frustrated me was how long it took Dawn to realize her boyfriend was an asshole. As soon as a guy told me that either the dogs could sleep in the bed, or he could, I would send him packing. That's a dealbreaker ladies! I really enjoyed hearing the dog's perspectives on life and love - basically, chase the ball when you can and hump everything that will let you.

Cute book. 3 out of 5.

Book 15 - Bite Me - Christopher Moore

Wow, it's hard to write a review of the third book in a trilogy without giving everything away. If you haven't read the first two books in this series, you may want to stop here; spoilers are below.

Bite Me is the third book in Christopher Moore's Vampire Trilogy that began with Bloodsucking Fiends, and continued with You Suck. Bite Me continues the saga of Jody and Tommy, two twenty-somethings who have recently become vampires, and Abby Normal, their goth-punk, teenage minion. When the story starts, Abby and her boyfriend, Foo Dog are trying to clean up the mess from the first two books. Chet, the huge vampire cat is hunting down and eating homeless people and meter maids in San Francisco, while accidentally turning every cat in town into a vampire. Meanwhile, Jody and Tommy are still one giant bronze vampire statue. Wackiness ensues.

I adored the first two books in this series, but I just didn't love this one quite as much. I can't put my finger on it; maybe it just wasn't as funny as the other books. I loved Abby Normal in You Suck, but she just got on my nerves in Bite Me. At least in this book sunlight can kill vampires. It doesn't make them sparkle

Book 14 - Going In Circles - Pamela Ribon

Charlotte is a 30-year-old newlywed whose life has turned upside down. After five months of marriage, her husband walked out on her. He returns a few weeks later, but as she realizes she can no longer trust him, she moves out. Her life becomes complete and utter chaos, and she has two methods of coping. The first is to make a mental list every morning of what she is going to do that day. The second is for the more stressful parts of her life to be narrated to her by a voice that sounds surprisingly like John Goodman. In short, she's going insane.

In comes Francesca, a gothic co-worker who introduces Charlotte to the LA Derby Dolls, a banked track roller derby team. Suddenly Charlotte has a whole new group of friends, and a new outlook on life. Cue Lifetime Movie music.

I picked up this book only because it was about Roller Derby. However, Derby doesn't enter the book until about one hundred pages in. I wish the book had focused more on the roller derby, and less on the divorce drama. Charlotte was a narcissistic whiny brat for most of the book who grated on my nerves. Eventually she realizes that she is being selfish, and becomes more likable. When they finally did get to the derby, the stories were entertaining. I especially enjoyed hearing how Charlotte broke her tail bone. I severely injured mine and couldn't sit, stand, walk, or do anything without pain, so I definitely identified.

One stupid thing that I am picky about. On the cover, the girl passed out in the grass is wearing artistic skates, not speed skates. Artistic skates are terrible for derby. Since this book is written by a derby girl, one would hope she would have insisted on putting speed skates on the model.

This was a quick read, and it was cute. It might be great for a plane ride, but it's not anything I would go out of my way to pick up, unless you are really interested in whiny white girls playing roller derby.

Book 13 - Pride & Prejudice & Zombies - Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith

This book has been reviewed to death for The Cannonball Read, but I'm going to put my two cents in. A lot of reviews of this book have been by guys who admit that they had never read the original, or even seen a movie of it, so they had no idea what to compare it to. I think they missed the true genius of the concept. The language is lifted verbatim from the original P&P, except every now and then the Bennet sisters must fight the hoards of the Undead. I like how Smith uses a lot of the actual dialog from the book and riffs on it, especially the very well known first line. "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."

However, what makes the book great, also makes it drag on and on and on. I have read the original Pride & Prejudice many times, seen 3 different movies of it, and I've even seen the Bollywood musical remake, Bride & Prejudice. I know how the story will end, so there wasn't really any suspense. I'm sick and tired of all of these sequels to classical novels, but the straw that broke the camel's back was, Mr. Darcy, the Vampire. ARGH! After a while, this just becomes fan fiction. Poorly written fan fiction. The concept is cute enough, but I was just ready for it to be over.

Don't check out Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters either. What a waste of time!

Book 12 - Storm Front - Jim Butcher

OK, confession. I actually enjoyed The Dresden Files series on Sci-Fi. (It will always be Sci-Fi, never the increcibly fucktarded Sy-Fy). That was before I had ever read or even heard of the books. I still enjoy the series, but as a completely different animal. The Harry Dresden in Storm Front is a badass, take no nonsense, wizard. None of that Harry Butthole Pussy Potter shit here. He's a snarky smartass, and I think I'm in love.

Harry Dresden is a wizard for hire in Chicago. Most of his work comes from consulting with the Chicago Police Department, particularly Lieutenant Karrin Murphy of the Special Investigations Unit. They are the unit that investigates anything labeled "weird." Dresden is called in to investigate a couple whose bodies literally exploded from the inside out. What follows is a complex detective story that involves magical drugs, orgies, vampires, giant scorpions, and the mob.

This books reminds me of Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series. In the beginning, when they were good. It reads like film noir. It is a very quick read, and very entertaining. I can't wait to read more books in this series.

Book 11 - The Last Unicorn - Peter S. Beagle

"There has never been a world in which I was not known."

How do you write a review of your favorite book since childhood? How do you review a book that is such a part of you that you don't ever remember not knowing it? How do you express in words how much a book has impacted your life? This is the book that I have turned to in the darkest times of my life, when I needed solace and comfort. I would call this my guilty pleasure, but I have no guilt over this book. I unabashedly adore it.

The Last Unicorn sounds like it would be the title of the girliest book of all time - something full of rainbows, fairy princesses and butterflies. Well, there are a couple of princesses, and there is a talking butterfly, but this isn't your typical fairy tale. This is a fairy tale in the vein of The Princess Bride or Stardust - a little bit fractured.

This is the story of the Unicorn who is quite content to live out her immortal life in her forest forever while contemplating how beautiful she is. One day she overhears two huntsmen saying that Unicorns are long gone, if they ever existed at all. The Unicorn decides to step out into the world and determine if she truly is the last, or if the others are in hiding. On her journey, she encounters an incompetent magician, a feisty spinster, an evil king, and the obligatory handsome prince.

While the story is fine for children to read, a lot of the themes are very adult. It is a bittersweet tale, and when I was little, the end would always make me cry. Of course it's hard to find a Peter Beagle novel that won't make you cry.

"As for you and your heart and the things you said and didn't say, she will remember them all when men are fairy tales in books written by rabbits."

Best line ever written.

In the last few years, Beagle published a sequel novella, Two Hearts. It is simply beautiful. If you enjoyed The Last Unicorn, you should definitely read Two Hearts. Also, if you ever get a chance to go to a Peter Beagle book reading, cancel all other plans and go. He is extremely nice.